Doin' the impossible

Why does it seem as moms that we often seem to attempt the impossible? Somehow I decided that it would not be beyond my abilities to take my 77-pound Labradoodle to the vet with two kids in tow on a very rainy day. Somewhere in my mind, I thought it was a task I was capable of taking on, probably the same part of my brain that decides it's an okay idea to begin scrapbooking the last two years of my life at ten o'clock at night after two glasses of wine. I am constantly thinking I can do the same things I did before I had kids, and while I'm glad I think so highly of myself, I sometimes wish I set the bar a little lower. Like around my knees.

So there I was at the vet's office, holding my toddler with one hand, my baby carrier with the other, my umbrella by my neck and um, yeah, exactly how am I supposed to bring in the dog? I was stretched thin and uptight, doing something I knew was ridiculous, so of course Carter decided to do the only thing he knows how to do in those situations. He threw a temper tantrum.

He was upset that I wouldn't buy the ridiculous $20 dog bones they sell there because he wanted to give Sparky a treat now and only now, even though we have $3.99 dog bones at home that I swore to him were just as good. Does anyone buy those dog bones? Or are they just there to make you feel bad that you're giving your dog crap at home? He cried like a banshee when they took Sparky away for his blood draw, screaming, "I just want to see him again!" like they were taking old Spark to the kennel in the sky. He rolled all over the floor, getting dog hair and God-knows-what-is-all-over-the-floor-at-the-vet's-office all over his shoes, his pants, his head. The ladies behind the desk looked at him like they were glad he wasn't their kid. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was thinking the same thing.

In Carter's defense, he's still suffering from a killer cold, a cold that has run rampant through this family, causing ear infections and bronchitis and exploding eyeballs, which, to quote Dave Barry, would make a great name for a rock band. And Lord knows a toddler who's sick and tired should be anywhere but out in public, out where people can stare and point, anywhere else but somewhere where he has to behave, because that is the very last thing he wants to do, and just merely asking him to will start the beginnings of your own familial World War III.

But in my defense, I had to get things done, which brings me back to my point. Why do I think I can do more than I am truly capable of doing? Maybe it's the killer cold I've got right now that's fogging up my ability to think rationally. Or maybe it's just the Thera-flu. But I do this when I'm healthy, I do this on a daily basis, I do what all of us moms do. Too much. Sacrifice for the good of the brood. I wish I could stop, I wish I could do less, but then, who would do it? Who would take care of the kids and the house and the laundry and the shopping and the dogs with their annoyingly expensive health problems?

I'm a mom. It's my job. And when you see those moms out at the store with their whiny kids in tow dripping snot down their faces, the moms with the messed-up hair and the Goldfish stuck to their shirts, give them a break. Give them a hand. Hell, give them some Thera-flu. Lord knows we need it.

Absentee

The cold is winning. Current score: Cold: 4, Us: 0

Every single member of our normally healthy and happy household has been handed a ticket to Sickville. It started out innocently enough, as colds always do, with my preschooler sporting a snotty nose while we were on a weekend getaway. Then, disaster of all disasters, our infant son caught it next. Before you could say "Antibacterial gel, STAT!" my husband and I had caught it, too.

If there was a nuclear war, I swear the only thing left would be roaches and cold bugs. Paints a pretty little picture, don't you think? All those nasty beetles running around with stuffed noses and tiny coughs. That's justice, my friend.

I think the amazing thing about nature is that she understands what it is like to be a mother. She knows who needs to be strong. Somehow, by the grace of God, a woman has strongest immune system of anyone in her family. I don't think this is by chance at all.

Have you ever seen a man with a cold? He whines. He complains. He lays on the couch. He must go to bed early to heal his aching body. And a woman with a cold? She pops a couple of Sudafed and swigs an orange juice chaser with one hand while simultaneously stirring a pot of chicken soup and wiping her toddler's nose with the other. We are the strong, and we survive. But oh, what we wouldn't give for a comfy couch, a bottle of Nyquil and Grey's Anatomy on TiVo. At least that's what I'd prescribe for my own recovery.

A mother is a wonderful thing to the sick. She nurtures. She kisses the owies. She makes her home a haven for the sniffily. She heals.

And it makes your own germ wars so much easier to handle when you know you hold the power to heal the little ones you love.

Tomorrow's score: Cold: 0. Mom: 4